For many women considering divorce, one of the biggest fears is:

 “Will I lose my children because I don’t earn as much as my husband?”

This worry is common - and understandable. But South African law is clear: custody and contact are not decided by who has the most money. Instead, the Children’s Act 38 of 2005 sets out that the best interests of the child are always the first priority.

At VDM Attorneys, we regularly help mothers in this exact situation. Here’s what you need to know about your rights and protections.

1. Custody Decisions Are About the Child, Not the Parents’ Salaries

South African courts look at what will serve the child’s:

• Safety and security
• Emotional wellbeing
• Stability and routine
• Relationship with both parents

Your financial situation is just one factor - and it does not outweigh your role as a loving, present parent. A mother does not lose custody simply because she earns less.

2. The Right to Equal Parenting

Both parents, regardless of gender or income, share parental responsibilities and rights. These include:

• The right to care for the child
• The right to maintain contact
• The duty to support and contribute financially

Even if one parent contributes less financially, the other parent cannot “buy” more rights.

3. Maintenance Balances the Scales

If you earn less, the law provides for child maintenance. Each parent contributes according to their means, not equally in rand value.

Example:

• If the father earns significantly more, his share of the costs (school fees, medical aid, housing, food) will be greater.
• Your contribution may be smaller - but that does not reduce your parental rights.

4. When Custody Is Challenged

If a dispute arises, the Family Advocate or court may assess:

• Who has been the primary caregiver (often the mother)
• Each parent’s emotional bond with the child
• The child’s own wishes (if they are old enough)
• Practical issues like housing and schooling

Income alone is never enough to take custody away. What matters is where the child will be happiest, safest, and most supported.

5. Practical Reassurance for Mothers

• You cannot “lose your children” simply for being less wealthy;
• Courts favour arrangements that keep children connected to both parents;
• Parenting plans and custody orders can be tailored to your circumstances; and
• You have the right to legal support to ensure your voice - and your child’s interests - are heard.

Conclusion: Your Children Are Not at Risk Because of Money

Divorce can feel overwhelming, but your role as a mother is not measured by your salary slip. The law recognises the value of your care, love, and daily involvement in your child’s life.

At VDM Attorneys, our family law team has guided countless mothers through custody negotiations and divorce proceedings. We stand firmly by the principle that children come first - and we’ll ensure your rights, and your child’s wellbeing, are fully protected.

👉 If you’re considering divorce but worried about custody, speak to VDM Attorneys today. Let us help you protect what matters most - your children.